How Does Couples Therapy Work?

Relationships are hard, especially romantic ones. Every relationship has its challenges and areas for improvement. Often partners have the same disagreements multiple times and struggle with underlying issues that can be difficult to pinpoint and work through. That is where a couples therapist comes in.

Couples therapy, marriage counseling, or couples counseling, whichever you choose to call it, can benefit all couples at some point in their relationship. Often one or both partners feel nervous or uncertain about beginning the couple therapy process, unsure of what it may entail. At CW Psychological Services in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, we want you to feel comfortable obtaining the care you need. We hope this post helps to answer some of your questions or concerns. If you have additional questions, feel free to contact us here.

What happens in couples therapy?

Most couples therapy sessions are conducted with both partners present, although sometimes each partner is encouraged to receive individual therapy separately. Think of a couples therapy session as having three parties in one room, in addition to the therapist — each partner and the relationship as a whole. Individual therapy can help people heal so the relationship can function better. You can learn more about individual counseling here.

During a session, a therapist will ask a variety of questions. They may ask about each partner’s family and each individual’s beliefs or perspectives. It is important to note that a couples therapist does not take sides. He/She/They are not in the business of putting one partner against another, but rather they may help to identify individual behaviors that contribute to joint problems. It has long been established that both partners generally play a role in most couple problems.

The ultimate goal of couples therapy is to bring partners closer together. Partners will learn healthy ways to resolve dilemmas and gain compassion for their partner and themselves. Each partner will learn ways to manage negative feelings. Couples therapy can help to rekindle the feelings that originally attracted the partners to each other. Other times, the sessions help the partners to end their relationship intelligently.

Between sessions, couples will be encouraged to practice behaviors and problem-solving skills they gained in therapy at home.

What are the benefits of couples therapy?

What you and your partner gain from therapy sessions depends on how much you put into it and how seriously you take each session. How hard are you willing to work to improve your relationship? What steps are you willing to take to heal and grow? If both partners do the work, many potential benefits can be had including:

1.) Gain a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics

Through couples therapy, you and your partner can begin to delve deeper into your relationship dynamics. You can take a close look at who has the power. Is it balanced? Do you fall into specific negative patterns? Do you have certain things you frequently disagree about? How do you handle conflict? By really looking at these things and determining how your relationship works from the inside out, you can develop a deeper understanding. This can help you heal and grow a stronger bond.

2.) Get an unbiased, honest sounding board

A good couples therapist is someone both partners trust. Your therapist will listen to both partners and give honest, impartial, unbiased feedback. This can help each person to look at their thoughts and behaviors through a new lens, helping to clear the air and create lasting change.

3.) Create a safe space for communication

When dealing with conflict with a romantic partner, it can be challenging to feel safe to open up. To truly navigate conflict, each partner has to be vulnerable, open, and honest. Therapy offers a safe space, where boundaries are set and enforced, for that to happen.

4.) Seeing new perspectives

In the face of conflict, it is hard to see beyond our feelings. Couples therapy opens the door so that both partners can begin to see each other’s perspectives. It can be hard to understand and accept our partner’s point of view but having a neutral party to help guide the conversation makes it more accessible.

5.) Tackle relationship roadblocks

Many partnerships have big roadblocks that are hard to overcome, for example deciding whether or not to have kids, figuring out a career change or major move. Others have frequent arguments over laundry or parental responsibilities that can feel impossible to overcome. Couples therapy can help you to address these roadblocks and figure out the best way to resolve them.

6.) Learn healthy and effective coping skills

No one and no relationship is perfect and the way we handle conflict can sometimes make that conflict worse. In counseling, you and your partner can learn healthy ways to manage conflict and cope when angry, sad, or stressed.

7.) Clarify feelings and deepen intimacy

People change, circumstances change, and feelings change and grow. You may come to therapy to work through a specific conflict or to determine if your relationship is salvageable. Either way, therapy can help you explore, understand, and clarify your feelings for one another.

When couples open up and gain an understanding of each other’s feelings and perspectives, a deeper intimacy and connection can be found. When both partners feel loved and understood, they feel more connected.

8.) Restore trust

Often couples seek therapy because of a loss of trust in each other. Therapy is a good place to work on building back trust through boundary setting, forgiveness, and healthy communication. It won’t be an easy road but it's far from impossible.

Where can I find a couples therapist?

You and your partner must find a therapist that you trust and feel comfortable sharing your most personal details. Look for a provider to help you feel safe and heard and meet you where you are.

At CW Psychological Services, we have several licensed and associate clinicians available to perform evidence-based couples therapy. We suggest reading their bios and then scheduling an appointment to determine fit. All therapists can be accessed under the "Our Team" tab here. Please don’t hesitate to call or email with any questions or concerns. Our therapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Emotion-Focused Therapy, among other modalities.

Read our latest blog post for more.

Meet Therapy Providers Meredith & Abigail

Your relationship with your therapist is an important one. In order to get the results you desire, you need to feel safe and comfortable sharing your most personal details. You want someone you respect, who also respects you, to help guide you on your journey through life.

We understand this at CW Psychological Services in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. That is why we have asked our newest provider to share some personal details. We want you to get to know them as people, just as they will get to know you.

CW Psychological Services welcomes Pre-Licensed Therapist Meredith Reid to our growing team. Here is more about her:

Meredith Reid
Pre-Licensed Therapist
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

What drew you to the therapy profession?

I wanted to be a therapist because I love understanding why people do what they do. I think it started from a desire to make the unpredictable into something knowable and understandable, and then later it evolved into something I could do to help alleviate suffering.

What is your favorite thing about being a therapist?

My favorite thing is building relationships with others that are based on trust. It is a beautiful thing to see how people change when interacting with someone they feel safe with, and I feel grateful whenever I am given the opportunity to be that person.

You can learn more about Meredith here.

Abigail Hirte-Uhlorn
Associate Therapist
Pronouns: She/Her/her

What drew you to the therapy profession?

When I was younger my friends and I struggled with mental health. I saw how many people who would have appreciated and benefitted from therapy struggle to find a therapist and the challenge of finding one. I was always drawn to helping professions and seeing the lack of access shaped my interest in the field. I later had several wonderful professors I saw making a difference and using their passion and creativity in their work. I was inspired by these professors to work in counseling.

What is your favorite thing about being a therapist?

My favorite thing about being a therapist is getting to validate my clients and their experiences and being able to see their growth and progression. Being able to support clients through their therapy journey and find new useful ways to address problems and challenges as they arise.

Learn more about Abigail here.

Ready to begin counseling?

Counselors and associate-level clinicians at CW Psychological Services are professionally trained. We have openings for online or telehealth therapy appointments. Email us at info@cwpsychologicalservices.com or call (610) 308-7575.
We want to help.